It is 1pm est on Dec 20th , 2012 as I write this and I realize if the Mayan Calendar is correct this may be last blog posting. Unless I somehow become inspired in the next 11hours, this sadly will be it.
Tomorrow I may regret not using my final hours in the world helping others, saying I love you all of you or at least trying to ride a heater out in Vegas. But today I am choosing to write a few words that may turn out to be my last…
Do I believe the world will end tomorrow- of course not. But silly times like these help me to reflect on the “what ifs” in life. It is the same feeling I get when I buy the lottery ticket on the jackpot that has risen to more than 500 Million. And personally I think winning that jackpot is significantly more likely than a cosmic event that reshapes our world happening in the next several hours.
As I think about the pending end of the world I am hit by three thoughts..
First, thinking about the end of the world isn’t scary at all to me. It is the thought of surviving the end of the world disaster that scares the socks off of me. I’ve lived a life of comfort, to the point that camping wasn’t defined as a tent and fishing rod, but a 35′ motor home with satallet TV and a microwave. I’ve never been a survivalist, I’m sort of hoping that if a rouge planet hits us tomorrow I’m at ground zero. The thought of dying with all my friends and love ones appeals to me more than the thought of fighting other people for the last piece of dog meat in the county does. If it happens I want to go first- so God please aim the planet my way.
Second I am not filled with regret for anything I’ve done. Actually even the things that I’ve done that were bad, in the end helped shaped my life in the positive direction it had up to the end. The regret I’ve had is for things I have not done- the adventures not taken, the chance not risked, the kindness not given. This end of the world thing has taught me that if we should somehow be spared this certain death I should think more about the new opportunities than the mistakes of my life.
Finally, I find myself looking forward to the end. I know this seems odd to say, but our lives are filled with so much uncertainty, to think that any civilization – even those wacky Mayans- figure it out is somewhat comforting. Finding order and certainty in the universe makes me feel somehow closer to God, that there is a plan for everything. Yes, it would be a bummer that “my plan” would be to be burned to death in an instant cosmic fireball, but its still a plan.
Finally In my last written thoughts I would like to make a couple recommendations on your final moments…
1. Go to 5 guys and fries for your last meal, and order the burger with everything. Those fries, regardless of which part of Idaho they are from today, are really good.
2. Fill your heart with the joys and blessing of life, make sure that you let go of any hate or bitterness before tomorrow, its your last chance. Now isn’t the time to be pissed at your neighbor for not inviting you to their Christmas party, now is the time to find love in your heart.
3. Tell the ones you love that you do love them. I have used this blog to leave a legacy for you my 6 children, but it has been for me a way to say I love you with each posting. I’ve never been a touchy feely type of person- having difficulty showing the hugs and emotions that Bobbi can do so easily. ( it is one of the big reasons I love her). But I hope that you understand that which each posting I am trying to say that you matter to me greatly and that I truly love you.
So…with that said and full belly from a large burger at 5 Guys…I can now prepare for my final hours on this planet.
If for some reason the end of the world does not happen and those Mayan’s just had a great sense of comedic timing to wait 3,000 years for a punch line…I do want to leave you with another thought…
I want you to have very Merry Christmas and a great 2013.