Rule #279 : Life is complicated ( the life time channel rule)
As the holiday season approaches I am seeing the warnings for one of the most dangerous times of the year- lifetime holiday movie season.
I was sort of happy that Lori Loughlin went to jail . Not because she did anything worthy of it with the pay for college scandal, but because of the damage to people’s lives she has done by making all those Lifetime Channel movies. Each story starting with all too nice of people facing conflict and finding inner strength and truth, which leads them on a path of happiness and joy. In the perfect 2 hr format ( with commercials) all issues come to a head, the bad guys lose, the good guys triumph and love saves us all.
People see these movies and try to live Martha Stewart existences with perfectly folded napkins and that gorgeous Christmas tree.
But life is like the real Martha Stewart who used insider information to cheat other investors, a convicted felon, twice divorced who now makes money taking edibles with Snoop Dog. By all measures she should be losing, but has over 400M in net worth and lives a life of luxury. WTF? where is the justice of the Lifetime story, where is the fairness- why are the bad guys winning?
I’m sure people look at my life and see a man that has made a life motto out of ” Michelob Ultra and bad choices” and think the same thing. Yes I truly try to make “good choices” and be a good person, but I fail a lot. Sometimes consequences impact me, and sometimes I still win despite picking the wrong door. The Karma and consequences of actions sometimes doesn’t all add up to results. Look at Donald Trump, Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods- how can these guys be successful after doing terrible things?
Well life is complicated.
I’ve learn the lesson that sometimes things don’t go the way Lori Loughlin promised, not even for Lori.
In my nearly 62 years I have been shocked when I open the door to bedrooms and peak under the covers to see what is going on in people’s lives. You see it all- infidelity, drug use, alcoholism, spousal abuse, internet porn addiction and sometimes complete secret lives. I have been to now 4 funerals that became venues for secret families to discover each other…now that’s a lifetime movie that would get some ratings. I think the success of the books like 50 shades of Gray and the consent adding of letters to the LGBTQIA+ world has opened up the understanding that the world is much more complicated than we all thought.
How you survive the “good things happening to bad people” phenomenon is to focus not so much on people’s personal live but on how they treat you and others.
You must demand a level of respect and kindness from others. No matter what anyone has going on in their lives and which sugar baby is wearing the catholic school girl outfit for them, we should demand to be treated with kindness and respect. I have ended a number of relationships because a person shares their stories of sexual infidelity with me, I find including me in those discussion both disrespectful to the the person they are cheating on and to me by asking me to accept the actions. If you feel a need to get naked and be fed Oreos by prostitutes enjoy it, just don’t include me in the discussion.
You have to develop your own moral lines for a world that is filled with immortality. For me that line is when someone else is in danger, being abused or being left neglected and needs help. Things like spousal, child and elder abuse are the lines which for me that demands immediate action.
Look less for the right things but the healthy things for you and your family.
I focus on behavior. What are they doing to others- are they providing care, and they dealing with long term issues of finances and needs. When I divorced I immediately said child support and spousal support are not an issue, and lets divide all the assets quickly and fairly. I think I stood up for my responsibilities and made sure my kids all went to college and were engaged in my life. Does this make me a good person – Hell no. Does this make me right in anything I did or did not do in the marriage- HELL NO. I was not, and am not a perfect person, personally I struggle just trying to be a good person. But actions matter- and the pathway to decent life starts with the right actions.
As you navigate this world and encounter the unfairness I recommend you focus not on the fallibility of man, because it will consume and anger you. I recommend you focus ordinary men doing extraordinary things. Asking them not to give up the Oreos but to make sure the finances are set up for their families, that they take there responsibilities to heart be their with the support their families count on in their lives. It being there that matters- showing up after failing is far more lifetime worthy than just showing up.
Lifetime movies are not real.
Doing the healthy thing is very real, and can make all the difference.
Podcast Link:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/1872903/9532874