Rule #161: Sin Is Good (But the Cowboys Still Suck)

In the crazy world of elections and COVID, I’ve been thinking a lot about what’s dividing us into camps. I’ve gone back to my bible of human understanding — the works of Dr. M. Scott Peck, especially The Road Less Traveled and People of the Lie: The Hope of Healing Human Evil.

Dr. Peck was a flawed man who had extramarital affairs and was estranged from his children. It may seem ironic that this behaviorist who wrote about sin was, at times, deeply immersed in it. But if you’re going to learn about the consequences of sin, the best person to listen to is a sinner.

The central theme of his theory was that people are imperfect creatures, prone to mistakes — or sin. And that all mistakes have consequences. Realizing these consequences is what makes us grow and learn. In that way, sin makes us human and guides us on the path toward empathy, kindness, and forgiveness. Without failure and recovery, we can’t learn to be better humans.

Peck believed that bad things happen when people develop what he called “militant ignorance” of their sin — basically saying everything one does is OK because no one has the right to judge you. It’s the mindset that lets us blow past the speed bumps and stop signs of moral judgment in religion and society, convincing ourselves that everything we do is fine simply because we chose to do it. It turns into anger toward others — the “militant” part — when someone challenges our beliefs or points out our mistakes (or sins).

I think militant ignorance is alive and well in all camps of our society — Republican, Democrat, and Independent. And it’s allowed all sides to become pretty unrepentant sinners and, frankly, assholes. We’ve forgotten the value of admitting mistakes and listening to other points of view. Social media has made us even bigger assholes. And worse than that — we’re proud of it. Arrogant about our asshole-ness.

What I worry about most is that this militant ignorance is slipping into something darker — malignant narcissism. That’s when our camps stop just disagreeing with each other and start demonizing each other. When we begin to project evil onto those who think differently. When I see people storming the Capitol and others calling for the reprogramming of political opponents, I worry we’ve already reached that level.

Dr. Peck used some extreme examples in his writing — notably the My Lai massacre — to show how people can commit evil when they become convinced their position is absolutely right and everyone else is worthless. As extreme as that example is, it proves the point: once you believe you’re unquestionably righteous, it’s not a long slide into evil behavior.

Let me bring this down to a more absurd — but relatable — level.

I hated the New England Patriots. I mean hated them. I thought Bill Belichick was a cheat and a bum, and Tom Brady was his willing puppet. I disliked them more than brussels sprouts.

Then Tom Brady came to Tampa and got our team into the Super Bowl. And just like that, all my malignant narcissism against the Patriots was destroyed. I had to refocus my evil thoughts back on the Cowboys.

Sure, in the world of sports, my behavior wasn’t dangerous. And I doubt Tom stayed up nights with Gisele worrying about my feelings (although I kind of hope he did back then). The consequences of my irrational, inappropriate thoughts were just some good-natured ribbing from Patriots fans.

But when it comes to politics and belief systems, this same tribal mentality becomes dangerous. As a country, I think we’re sliding toward the evil of malignant narcissism.

We need to embrace the idea that “sin” is part of life — and that listening to others, even those with vastly different beliefs, is necessary for empathy and growth. We can change. We can admit fault. Hell, I even ordered a Brady Bucs jersey in 4X today. We can accept difference and adapt.

We are all sinners.

But fuck the Cowboys.

Love, Dad