Rule #93: Snowflakes Melt- don’t be a snowflake
Rarely do things go my way in life on a day to day basis, adversity is part of my daily existent. Things break in the house, kids get sick and I don’t get over half the business I try to get .. in short most of the time day to day existence in life in is a grind. Yet, I am profoundly grateful for the life I have been given.
I wake every morning to new opportunity. As my weight will attest I do not want for food, shelter or basics needs… that first level of the Maslow Pyramid is covered by a warm blanket of certainty that has been their since my parents place on me the day I was born. I was born into privilege, not just the white kind, but the broader deeper one of being blessed by having good parents who loved me and gave me the confidence to know that all life has to offer us is a blessing from God. I don’t feel guilt for that blanket, but feel deeply grateful.
My kids don’t yet think of it in the spiritual context I do, but they understand the concept well. I was talking to them during Christmas time and asked them why they have the confidence to do the things they are doing, and they said “it is because it will always work out”. That doesn’t mean they won’t fail, in fact they have the certainty that they will have a failure in their life. But they know, truly know, that if they stay focused on doing the right things, caring for others and themselves they will find a way past these failures.
When Stephen told me he was leaving for his doctorate work at the University of Hawaii and had no housing arranged as he boarded a plane for the 5,000 mile trip I was far more worried than him. He knew he had options ( which he used) of hostiles, YMCA and other places until he finalized his arrangements 45 days later. He not only survived, he thrived, knowing that he was going to get through it.
Bobbi and I did not raise snowflakes that melt with the first warm beams of adversity. We raised strong independent personalities prepared to deal with life’s pressures without becoming a puddle of disappointment. We encourage them to take risks, and when they failed we taught them to shake it off and keep moving.
Yesterday Abby was talking to me about a couple of her schoolmates complaining about grades in school, she told me that her advice to them was to ” keep moving”. She gets it. Our children do no fail by not achieving a goal, they fail by giving up and stopping moving forward. Motion in our lives is what matters, not the stumbles that happen on the path. I for one have very skinned knees ( and a metal one) from my journey so far and expect many more falls.
Life owes us nothing, we are entitled to nothing- everything we have is earned or loss not by an unfair world, but by a world that recognizes that we aren’t entitled to anything. Often I become discourage by perceived unfairness of the world, the “why me” moments of life. Then I step back and realize I’m not that damn important, and am lucky to be here and have the opportunity to keep moving.
In 2017 I have had friends who have started battles with illnesses, illnesses so significant they would melt a 500 lb snowman, let alone a snowflake. Yet these friends tell me “God has a plan” and ” It will all work out the way it is meant to”. That doesn’t mean that they aren’t fighting back everyday against illness, they just fight the fight with two clear understandings – that they are not in control, and that they will end up where they are suppose to be.
I worry about the world because I see people becoming more and more entitled, demanding more protection and guarantees in life. They no longer trust that their efforts will lead them where they’re suppose to be, they now want certainty and no failure. They want guarantees for healthcare, education, housing, food- they want a life free of worry and concern. What they fail to understand is that the worry about those things is what drives us forward to our destiny, it is what inspires us all to get up every morning and face the day with energy and excitement. Fear and need motivates us.
You didn’t get the account. Your spouse wants a divorce. Your car broke down and you can’t afford to fix it. You get cancer. Your company lays you off. Shit happens deal with it, and move forward. You are not a snowflake you are a blessed by God and have the opportunity to move forward. You will not melt. Keep moving.