Rule #97: NEVER live in Florida!
Florida is proof that God has a sense of humor: a swamp covered in asphalt, bugs the size of housecats, and weather that feels like Satan’s hot tub. I’ve often said the state is nothing but scrub pines, sweat, and hurricanes. I even joked that Trump’s border wall should’ve started at the Florida–Georgia line. I told my kids I would NEVER, EVER move there.
So why the hell are we moving to St. Petersburg this June?
Well, the possibility of me being clinically insane has not been ruled out. But mostly, it starts with change.
Back in May 2008, Bobbi and I launched Signature Captive Solutions. Nine years later, after building partnerships, companies (Blackmoor, SFB, Patriot, and Preferred), and working alongside 40+ incredible colleagues, we made the decision to sell. Not because we were tired, but because we needed a bigger park to play in. Acrisure Holdings was the right company — one that cares about people as much as the bottom line (a rare thing in this industry I’ve lived in for 35+ years).
That sale gave us the gift of choice: we could pick where to live. And after a lot of reflection, we chose… Florida.
Why Florida, you ask?
First, family. Bobbi’s mom and dad love it there, her mom is there most of the time, Matthew just moved there, and Collin is starting college there. Family proximity was a non-negotiable.
Second, Abby. Finding her a great high school was essential. Canterbury fit the bill — small classes, faith-based, strong arts and sciences, and a place she actually loves.
Third, friends. We didn’t want to lose the network we’ve built, so we bought a 7,000+ sf house on the bay, with a dock and a pool. Our not-so-secret plan is to bribe friends into visiting. We’ve started calling it “living life like a vacation.” Rachel, Andrew, Ashleigh, and Hailey will be VIPs, and we’re pretty sure Hailey thinks we’re just moving to Disney’s backyard.
Finally, comfort zones. Staying in Pennsylvania would’ve been the easy choice. But easy isn’t our style. We’ve always lived a “reality show life” — sometimes “Survivor,” sometimes “Kardashians,” but never dull. Moving to a new state, building friendships from scratch, and joining an exciting new company is exactly the kind of chaos that makes us feel alive. I don’t want to drift into my late 50s acting 78. I want to live like I’m 38. So we chose the harder, riskier, more exciting path.
Which brings me to the awkward part: my apology.
Dear Florida,
I’m sorry I called you the armpit of America. That was unfair. You’re more like the sweaty yoga pants of America — uncomfortable at first, but eventually you grow on me. I still hate your cockroaches (no, “palmetto bug” is not cuter), and your summers will always be an assault on human dignity. But here we are. I’ll even fill out my Publix card application like a good Floridian.
This is both the scariest and most exciting move I’ve ever made. At 57, I feel like I’m raging against the night — working hard, embracing every blessing, and chasing adventure with the people I love.
The future is bright, especially in the Sunshine State.
(And yes, I still hate Florida State. Go PSU.)
Love, Dad